Marriage and both family members are against of it.

Marriage
Definition:  Marriage is a legal or formally
recognized union between two people (Man and woman).

Introduction:
Marriage is very
sensitive as well as a very strong holy relationship between man and women for
lifetime. It is a kind of that love bond and that loveable relationship in
which husband and wife spend every life moment with each other. They share
their happiness, sorrows and love with each other. It’s not only the union of
two peoples but also the union of two perspective families. Sometimes marriage
is arranged and sometimes it depends on likeness by both partners. Every
country has its own marriage traditions and culture values, but one thing is
same all over the globe that is ‘LOVE’. Traditions can be different but love is
same. Here we will discuss marriage customs and
traditions of Pakistan and culture. Marriage traditions of Pakistan and China
are totally different. Below is the detailed discussion of it. Firstly I will
discuss Pakistani marriage culture.

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Body:
Pakistani marriage
has many events given below.

1.      Before
marriage

·        
Search
for proposal

·        
Proposal

·        
Engagement

2.      Wedding

·        
Dholki
before few days of wedding

·        
Ubtan

·        
Rasme
heena

·        
Marriage
ceremony

·        
Nikkah

·        
Aarsi
Mushaf Dikhana

·        
Rukhsati

·        
Dinner

·        
Gifts

·        
Waleema

3.      Honey
moon

·        
Shab-e-
Zifaf

4.      Regional
Variations

·        
Attan

·        
Baraat

·        
Bijjar

·        
Dastar
bandi

·        
Dholki

·        
Doodh
pilai

·        
Haldi

·        
Jol
bandi

·        
Maklava

·        
Mobaraki

·        
Paon
dhulai

·        
Saami

5.      Religious
Customs

·        
Haq
Mahr

6.      Marriage
songs

7.      References

Search
for proposal:

For wedding of boy or girl a search
is usually done by family members. And this effort is done by any matrimonial
sites or relatives or third party member. But now-a-days this trend is losing
popularity. Boys and girls now-a-days select their partners by themselves and
go to court for marriage because they have their own mindset and both family
members are against of it. Some marriages are arranged by parents and both
partners understand each other and compromise with each other for themselves
and for their family. Some marriages are arranged and there is likeness from
both sides, both partners told to their parents and they send proposal to girls
home and they accept and marry both of them, it’s called semi arranged
marriage.

Proposal:

Once a decision has been taken then
grooms family send proposal message to brides home. And grooms family pay
potential visit to brides home, and the first visit is purely for the parties
to acquaint with one another and for formal proposal. Then after that visit
both families decide whether they like or dislike each other or not. If both of
them like each other than proposal message sent to brides home for her hand in
marriage, where elder members of groom’s family asked to bride’s family for
marriage proposal. After acceptance both families, grooms family give gifts to
bride and brides family offer sweets to grooms family to start a new
relationship not only for boys and girls but also for new two families.
Different kinds of beverages and refreshments are served by bride’s family in
happiness for new life.

Engagement:

After few days or months of
accepting marriage proposal from both sides a ceremony is held by both families
to mark the engagement of couple and is called engagement or mangni in Urdu
language. It is a small family function in which just couple families are
involved and they exchange rings to each other. In traditional values both
couple don’t sit together, families elder members do this ceremony and exchange
rings between boy and girl. Then a prayer and blessings are recited for the couple
and the wedding date is decided.

Wedding:

Wedding are arranged by family
members of couple and it is different from each other according to ethnic
background and religion. However a typical wedding has three major events
Rasm-e-heena, nikkah and waleema.

Rasme-heena:

 Rasm-e-heena is often called as “mehndi” or
“henna”, a dye prepared from Lawsonia inermis plant which is mixed with water
and paste is make and applies in both hands of bride. This function is mostly
organized separately at homes by both families. But now-a-days it is usually
organized at marriage halls. The girl usually wears embroidered yellow color
dress with cultural beads and fancy bands or sari, and bride wear khussa as
cultural shoes. Bride dress is sent by groom’s family and grooms dress usually
a black shalwar qameez, sherwani or western suit and groom also wear khussa as
a cultural shoe. Bride also wear jewelry depend on ethnic background and
regional values.

In the start of the function,
hundred rupee note is set to the bride hand and then elder members start the function
and apply little mehndi on girls hand and then little piece of sweet is fed to
the bride and little amount of oil is applied to the girls head. Then in
similar function continues and in the end there is some musical playing time.
Same way of function is done by boy’s side. Family members sing traditional
songs and there is a competition of songs between both families and function
ends gradually.

Marriage
ceremony:

This ceremony is different according
to different cultures. In Punjabi culture this function is organized by bride’s
family. But in baloch wedding this is settled by groom’s family. Now-a day’s
people don’t trouble themselves and organize function n marriage halls and
hotels.

Nikkah:

 Nikkah ceremony, a very holy ceremony is done
by Imam, mufti, sheikh or mullah. This is day when both bride and groom accept
each other as husband and wife in the presence of their family members and in
the presence of religious people to do it rightly. Firstly grooms Imam goes to
grooms side and said some religious words from “RELIGION HOLY BOOK CALLED AS QURAN-E-PAK”. Groom
follow and recite those lines and then give his signature on 4 papers with all
religion or family terms and conditions given by bride’s family. Then pray and
blessings are done by all guests for couple happy and prosperous life ahead.
Same procedure is followed by brides side, but bride didn’t explore her face in
front of unknown person until nikkah ceremony is done Then pray and blessings
is done by all guests for couple happy and prosperous life ahead.

Aarsi Mushaf Dikhana:

Arsi
mushaf dikhai commonly called as “Mun dikhai rasm”
“Showing of the face of bride and girl to each other”.
Green embroidered shawlis usually held over the couples head and mirror is
given to them so that they can see each other first time in the mirror. Then
couple eat a piece of fruit or sweet with each other than dinner is served to
all baratis.

Rukhsati:

Rukhsati
or “sending
off” takes place when the groom and his family will leave together with
the bride. The Quran is normally held over the brides head as she walks the
stage to exit in order to bless and protect her. This is a somber occasion for
the bride’s parents as it marks the departure of their daughter from their
home. It is a very emotional scenes she says farewell to the home home of her
parents and siblings to start a new married life. Traditionally groom travel to
his house by decorated horse or in a decorated car now-a-days and bride is
taken by “doli” called as “Palanquin” to his parents’ house to
live.

Dinner:

A
dinner is served which is consisted of kebabs, naan, shirmal.taftan falooda and
kulfi etc. Various forms of meat like roasted mutton, beef, chicken, pulao,
biyani, chaanp and chargha served.

Gifts:

It
is customary for a bride and groom to receive red envelope of money and a lot
of gifts from cousins from guests, friends and family in reception. Then newly
married couple received dinner or party invitations from friends and family
members to receive reception.

Honeymoon:

Walima and Shab-i—Zifaf:

Waleema
ceremony is usually held by groom’s family and they invite bride’s family and
their own relatives and neighbors. Then they eat dinner together. Bride wears a
heavy dress and gold jewelry from groom’s family. When all guests left the
house then bride is taken to the fully decorated room by flowers by groom’s
family members. Face of bride is covered by her own dress shawl. When groom
enter in the room, family allows them to stay alone. Then groom come close to
bride and put veil aside to reveal her face as the first new thing at that
night. Then husband give him a some gift like ring or bracelet or necklace
depends on choice.

Regional Variations:

Dholki:

Doodh pilai:

A
ceremony in which cousins, friends or family friends bring milk for bride and
groom mixed with nuts etc. and they then present then some kind of money.

Maklava:

As
bride is entered in to new life and is sad she is brought back to her parent
house few days after after the wedding, so that they spent some time with her
family. Then she is again taken to her husband house.

Mahr:

Mahr is a mandatory payment, in the form of money or
possessions that will be paid by the groom to the bride. While the mahr is often money, it can also
be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a
dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract
signed during an Islamic
marriage.

Songs:

Different marriage songs were singing
and played for enjoyment.

 

Traditional Chinese marriage customs

Traditional
Chinese marriage is very different from modern Chinese marriage trend. Wedding
rituals and customs are different regionally, because china has a long, rich
and extensive history of different cultures that have been subsumed into modern
Chinese culture.

1.     
Etymology

2.     
Marriage in Confucian context

3.     
Ancient chinese marriage

·        
Marriage
in early societies

·        
Mythological
origin

·        
Historic
marriage practices

·        
Maternal
marriage and monogamy

·        
Marriage
matters in Xinjiang

·        
Marriage
during the Han dynasty

4.     
Traditional marriage rituals

·        
Six
etiquettes

5.     
Modern practices

6.     
Traditional divorce process

7.     
Conclusion

Etymology:

In ancient writing for the word ?? has (pinyin:
h?n, literally means ” dusk, nightfall, twilight,
dark”) and the radical ? (pinyin: n?, literally “a
female”). It means if marriage is done at night it will bring fortune
for the couple going to be married.

In
Confucian though, marriage have grave significance of both the families and to
societies as well as being important of virtue. Its main purpose that both
families have got same surname and family line and paternal clan. It is because
of birth of boy over girl. During the Han Dynasty, the rulers of the powerful Xiongnu tribe demanded women from the imperial family. Many
periods of Chinese history were dominated by the families of the wife or mother
of the ruling emperor.

In ancient times traditional Chinese thinks that they did not
marriage in “primitive chinese”. They have no concept of relationship like
father, mother, brother, sister; siblings, husband and wife. They don’t have
any match for marriage with each other. Then Confucian ‘civilizing mission” was
to define them that there is discrimination among relationships for husband and
wife and teach people those family members and regulate sexual behavior.

  Before modern
civilization people don’t know about marriage concept. Then Nüwa and Fu Xi, they told people about gender discrimination. People lie
like animals, then after knowing the gender discrimination then they felt
ashamed. So they went to Kunlun Shan and prayed to the heaven and ashamed in
front of him. They asked for the permission and said “If you allow us to marry,
please make a mist surround us”. Then heaven gave permission to the couple and
the peak was covered with mist. Then a girl feels shy and covers her face with
a fan. This tradition is still continues and become a custom in even modern
civilization.

Endogamy between different classes of china were practiced,
like upper class Shi class people can marry with each other while other
commoners married among themselves. In that time those people don’t marry with
their slaves and other common peoples. This was governed by law at that time.

In maternal marriage cases husband lives in wife’s home, and
this trend causes the decline of matriarchy and growing dominance of patriarchy
in ancient china.

According to Islamic tradition Muslims men
or women should marry to Muslim person. But in XINJIANG a Chinese man married
to Muslim turkey women because she was poor. Otherwise she will become a
prostitution to live. In this way she got benefit of that she does not have to
veil even mullah forces her to do this, because chinese man give her money for
not only for her but also for her family members.

Chinese marriage system was started
between 42 and 221 BC. Instead of Chinese wide cultural system there are three
letters and six etiquettes. According to this tradition wife’s mother cannot go to her
daughter’s house for one year but daughter can go anytime to her mother’s home.

Six etiquettes:

Proposal:  An unmarried boy
parents found a girl for their son and just match each other family’s
traditions. Mostly marriages were based on reproduction and honor as well as
the need of father and husband.

Birthdates: If both parents are agreed then matchmaker match both
partners birthdates  (Chinese: ????; pinyin: niáng?ng
b?zì; literally: “the 8 cyclic characters for year, month, day and
hour of birth of a man, which determine his fate”) in which suan
ming (Chinese
fortune telling) is used to predict the future of that couple-to-be.

Bridewealth: Matchmaker arranges a price of bride including a betrothal
letter to the girl’s family.

Wedding gifts:  After setting the price of bride grooms
family send some sweets, cakes and other religious foods to the bride’s house.

Arranging the wedding: Then both family members arrange a
date for wedding according to TUN SHING.

Modern practices: In modern practice newlywed couple goes for photography in
different outfits and in different places belonging to their culture. But in
mandarin Chinese there are no first days of spring, like in 2010.They believe
that in 2010 it was a year of tiger and they believe  that this year is very luck and ominous to
stat any business or wedding.

Before
bride and groom enter into nuptial chambers, they have to do ceremonial bows as
follows;

1.     
First bow is for heavens and earth

2.     
Second bow is for ancestors

3.     
Third bow is for parents

4.     
Fourth bow is for spouse.

Traditional divorce process

There are three
ways of divorce.

·        
First way is “no fault divorce”. According to Tang Dynasty
(618-907) a marriage can be dissolved due to persona issues.

·        
Second way is to mandate annulment marriage. It occurs when
any spouse do a serious crime.

·        
It is due to unilaterally declare a divorce by seven ways, if
girl do this,

1.     
Fails to bears a son

2.     
Jealousy

3.     
Serious or chronic disease

4.     
Gossipy

5.     
Commits theft

6.     
Filial piety

7.     
Vulgar or lewd

Conclusion: Marriage customs and traditions globally are different and it
is all due to their ancestor’s culture. Every country has different and wide
rich culture, which explore their religious and cultural values. Despite of
having different cultures some cultural points relevant with each other, but
their performing way is different. It’s not only the sexual attachment with
each other but also the combination of both families so that they can share
their happiness and sorrows with each other.